The Quinn Family Vacation Saga Episode I-Are We There Yet?

Monday, Planet Earth. My house. My Dad wants to go to Long Beach Island for the epic family yearly vacation. Since we have no shore house anymore, we must rent out a room in a hotel in Manahawkin, New Jersey. It's right near our old house too, doesn't look much different. Still it was weird being there and not being in the house that we've had since I was a little kid. Anyway, my progenitor had his wisdom teeth taken out and was being a real pain in the ass around the house so we didn't know if we were going anywhere. Plus, we had to share one room, the five of us. I told my brother he could sleep in the bathroom tub, the floor, or on this little chair. Anyway, he got medicine and stopped being a "pill". So I woke up at 5:30 in the morning for the two hour drive, on Tuesday. Still Planet Earth. Since I have a reputation for being a pain in the ass in the car since I usually have to pee 15 minutes in, I am required to "not be a pain in the ass". So, I just listen to my cds for the car ride. Problem was, my headphones broke the day before. So I had to buy new ones. I'm glad they broke, they were going for awhile and now the music sounds perfect now. I can't believe I was listening to Bleed Like Me with those crappy headphones, it's like listening to it for the first time again. Anyway, I listened to Bleed Like Me and Beautifulgarbage in the car. We put pictures of our cat Jody in the car since we all felt bad about leaving her alone with my Grandma. We get to the hotel, a Holiday Inn. We go to our room. I inquire about how much porno we can order on the tv until my suggestion gets shot down by everybody. We go to the beach. Sand and water. I spent a few hours in the water, ate lunch then read on the sand. Plus, I had ice cream. For some reason we always get a spot where the people in front of me are middle aged pasty hairy overweight white guys. Scouting out chicks while reading a Star Wars comic book (Sorry, they're called graphic novels now) doesn't work since the stomachs of the hairy white men laying down I think hid me from them. Anyway, back to the hotel. Shower, attempt to convince my Dad to sleep on the floor so I can have the bed to myself. Watch The X-Files while I wait for everyone to bathe. Figured out how to use the shower all by myself. Read all the porno movie titles and genres. Accidentially ordered a movie that was not a porno, charging 12 bucks to the bill. Daddy was real happy about that one. Off to Burger King, then the Fantasy Island Amusement Park. Rides, Arcades, nausea oh my! Spent a nice chunk of quarters on the Star Wars Trilogy Arcade game. They turned the damn place into a mini fake Atlantic City, there are no games anymore practically. Spent twenty bucks getting Spongebob and Patrick stuffed animal things. Go on the Tilt a Whirl, make everyone sick. I go on the kiddie roller coaster when I discover I feel like throwing up. I spend the rest of the night sick while my sister and brother go on the Dragon, the ferris wheel and the Scrambler. I'm getting too old of this shit it seems. Go back to the hotel. My Dad falls asleep. My mom, sis, and bro go on one bed. I start running around the room to burn off excess energy. I put a pillow on my Dad's head so I don't get scared when I wake up. I don't fall asleep for awhile. My brother and I keep laughing making stupid jokes and pissing everyone off. End of day. Episode II will resume soon.